| Child-raising and worry are inseparable. There are various problems, from
the minor to the more serious. Sometimes problems which are (or seem) difficult
to solve can develop. At such times, if there is a person who can think
through this problem with you, often a clue to the solution can be found.
Let’s consider the significance of individual consultations through two
The mother of K (Aged 3) came to consult us with the worry that her son recently became easily unsettled. During the conversation, a shopping trip she went on a couple of days ago came up. She was in a hurry and didn’t want K to cry, so she asked her mother to care for him and left the house without saying anything to him. Soon after she left, K started to wander around the house. I believed her sudden absence caused him anxiety, wondering when she’d next go away, and causing him to become unsettled.
Here, we gave our insight. “It’s better to tell him when you are leaving. Even though he might cry at first, he will eventually be able to understand that you are coming home as promised and be able to accept it because he can be with his grandmother to whom he is close.” In addition, we suggested that she apologize to him. She wondered if rather the separation might become more difficult, but in the end, decided to leave him after communicating with him properly and accepting his anxieties. Since then, K has started to listen to his mother’s words and waves goodbye, as a result of repeated and consistent actions. And of course, he doesn’t become unsettled anymore.
When Boy H was in the third term of his second grade, his mother complained, “When he comes home, he cuts his clothes. He doesn’t listen when I tell him to stop. Do you think he doesn’t know how to use scissors?” Looking at the situation in terms of his development, we guessed, “It’s not that he doesn’t have the ability to understand. There must be another reason. The action of cutting might reflect his anger and frustration.” Therefore, we asked about his school and home life. We found out that there might have been a possibility that H, standing a little distance away, had overheard a conversation between his parents and younger sister who was entering elementary school next year, in which they discussed “Where shall we buy your book bag?” and “What shall we do about a school desk?”. We thought he couldn’t accept their conversation, because he hadn’t been included, and in addition, he didn’t have his own desk from the time he entered school.
His parents felt that this could be the case after checking his behaviors and the situation of that time, and apologized to him for excluding him. Then when asked about his feelings, he answered, “I want a desk.” with a relieved look. They granted his wish immediately, and so satisfied, H completely stopped cutting his clothes.
In this way, during individual consultations, we explore the background of problematic behaviors with the child’s entire lifestyle in mind. Cues to problem-solving are found from things that come up in casual conversation and cooperative work such as thinking through things together and discovering the relationship between events, which are difficult for the guardian to realize by themselves. As a result, if we can give appropriate support that corresponds with reality, the child will surely settle down, and their guardians can get real relief.
Individual consultations that combine wisdom will turn your misfortune into opportunity. Please try it!
|Himejima Kodomoen||6-3-33 Himejima, Nishiyodogawa-ku, Osaka 555-0033
TEL：06-6472-6001 050-3541-8075 FAX：06-6472-6002