Message from the Executive Director

"Problematic Behaviors (Problematic for Adults)" - Its Meaning and Ways to Cope

@When we hold individual or group consultations, a subject that often comes up is gProblematic Behaviors (problematic for adults).h Letfs talk about the problems that often occur at home. For example:
E When a mother is preparing a meal, her child comes to the kitchen even though they were playing by themselves until then. They open cabinets and drawers, and start taking out spoons and chopsticks. They touch dangerous things such as the switches on the gas stove, knives, peelers, and play with flying pans, pots, plates, etc.
E They touch their motherfs cosmetic bottles, lipsticks, and hair brushes, and end up knocking them over.

@The child has trouble stopping, even though their mother tells them repeatedly, gYoufll get hurt!h, or gItfs dangerous!h If their mother scolds them, they start to cry, throw a tantrum, or try to touch it when their mother is not looking. As a result, the adult is occupied mostly with how they can get their child to leave, or stop their child from not doing something, so they build fences, put in a lock or some kind of stopper, and hide things in an act of desperation. How we can catch these gproblematic behaviorsh and deal with themc It is important to have understanding from a childfs perspective, as well as understanding things from the viewpoint of development, human relationships and cognition. A child by no means wants to be injured or cause their precious mother to worry. It is more of an indication of the childfs curiosity; gI want to see, to try, and to knowh in the process of developing an attachment to their mother. (gWhat is she doing?h, gI want to try it too.h and gOh, thatfs how itfs used!h, etc.) If you take it this way, it will open the door to a solution that both the parent and the child can mutually accept, instead of a means to simply stop problematic behaviors.
E In cases where it is troublesome if the child touches it, no matter what, you can use a lock or some kind of stopper. And instead, you can prepare a place or things that your child is allowed to touch or try freely.
E You can try to communicate with them positively by showing them how to do something, taking them by the hand and doing it together, and teaching them how to do it, all the while telling them, gPlease donft touch this by yourself.h
E When you can get help from the father or grandparents, donft just try hard by yourself but create opportunities to enjoy together what your child wants to do.

@If you devise it like this, your child will learn the nature and use of things, and the relationship between things through fun interactions with adults close to them. Children cultivate abilities to understand and think (acknowledge or consider things) through their accumulation of experiences which is encouraged by their motivations. I would be grateful if you could take this opportunity to reconsider what kind of environment is best for cultivating a childfs intellectual curiosity and self-esteem, and what kind of relationship is mutually enjoyable for both the parent and the child.

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