Perspective（17） "Message through 'Perspective'"| This has been the 15th “Perspective” since last April. I am going to write
to convey this to you through the idea of “Perspective”. ①Focusing on a child’s mind When we are worried about a child’s development, we can’t help focusing on what they can’t do, and try to control their behaviors from the outside. It’s because we hope to take the situation in a better direction and guidance and training are necessary to change the current situation. However, a child has their own will. There are many cases, in which we think that something is good for the individual, but it is often painful for them. It is not rare that a child is scolded, because even though they try their best, they haven’t been able to express themselves well and so the adult can’t react in a proper way to this. It is no easy matter for a child who hasn’t been able to express their intentions or feelings yet to be understood by people around them. Therefore, it is very important to have a viewpoint that is open to understanding why the child acts in such a way, what they are thinking, whether they are troubled by anything, and whether they accept our approaches. ②Sharing joy as food for growth A child grows not only by taking on an adults’ approaches, but by learning things voluntarily. When the feelings behind the behaviors of a child (who couldn’t express themselves) is understood by adults close to them; “Oh, that’s what you wanted to tell me!” or “I understand why you did this!”, they develop a feeling of trust and self-esteem from the sense of safety and joy they get from these experiences. Sharing this kind of “Perspective” and willingness to understand will surely lead to a child’s healthy growth. ③The possibility of new discoveries There are many opportunities for a child to experience the joy of being understood by people around them in everyday life such as in the home, at a center, or in the community. Some behaviors seem to be troublesome or worrisome to adults, but in many cases, they are trying their best. Essentially a child doesn’t mean to bother someone who is important to them, more they are desperately looking for someone who can understand them. The more an adult comprehends, “Oh, I see!”, the more the child starts to realize, “This person can understand me!”This leads to an increase in opportunities to discover and affirm each other’s thinking which in turn leads to the development of an understanding relationship. I would like to think about how to support and understand a child together with you while introducing life episodes through the idea of “Perspective”. |
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